Praying Before Toddler Discipline

Today I learned to pray before toddler discipline. It was a rough start to our day. We woke up around 5:30 AM, but my alarm clock wasn’t set to 4:00 AM, so I automatically felt behind. The day before, we had the grandparents babysit while my husband and I went to a medical appointment in North Seattle—a two-hour drive each way, thanks to traffic. Needless to say, when we got home at 4:00 PM, I was pooped. I didn’t finish the dishes, clean the kitchen, or even set the coffee pot for the next morning. We went to bed early, and I woke to a messy kitchen, which is always a tough start for me. This situation really made me realize the importance of discipline in our daily routines.

Tension with the kids

The kids woke up in odd moods. My two-year-old, “Little Sis,” was whiny and needy, and my four-year-old, “Bubba,” woke up with an attitude. He wasn’t listening, pushing, hitting, and snatching toys from Little Sis. My mood quickly went from frustrated to, I can’t do this. I started feeling sad and unsure of myself.

To break the tension, I decided to take the kids out of the house. After 45 minutes of wrangling them into shoes and getting Little Sis’ diaper changed (which almost made me want to give up), we finally made it to the park. It turned out to be just what we needed. The fog had made the spider webs in the trees glisten, and since we’re learning about spiders this month, it felt like a little gift from God to enjoy the beauty together. We took pictures and admired the webs for about 30 minutes before heading to Grandma’s house.

A Breakdown at Grandmas House

At Grandma’s, things took a turn. The kids asked for popsicles, and though my first instinct was to say no to sugar, Grandma was so excited to give them, so I agreed. Bubba then wanted to play checkers. We asked him if he wanted to play with the round checkers pieces, and he said yes—until the game was set up. Then he changed his mind and wanted the chess pieces instead. Grandma and I decided to play without him for a bit, but Bubba got upset and swiped all the pieces off the board. My anger flared. His behavior was rude, especially at Grandma’s house, and I asked him to apologize. He ignored me and walked away.

I knew it was time to leave.

Snapping in Frustration

As I was packing the kids into the car, I asked Bubba to thank Grandma for the popsicle. He refused again, smiling as if it were a joke. That was the last straw. I put Little Sis in the car and carried Bubba back to Grandma, asking him again to say thank you. He still refused and started to smile. At that moment, I lost my temper. We drove home, and when we arrived, Bubba began throwing books around and yelling at his dad. I told him to go to his room, but he looked at me and said, “No.”

That was it. I snapped.

I carried him up the stairs, swatted him three times on the bottom, and left the room. In that moment, I acted out of frustration, and as soon as I closed the door, I felt regret. My heart was heavy, knowing I had let my emotions take control. That’s when I realized: I was trying to handle everything in my own strength, and it wasn’t working. I had been so overwhelmed by my frustration that I hadn’t turned to God for help first. I felt weak and out of control, so I began to pray.

Turning to God for Guidance

I asked the Lord why I felt so powerless, why I kept losing my temper, and what I was doing wrong. In that moment, the answer came to me: I was drowning in my own emotions, relying on myself instead of God.

I gave it to God. I told Him to take the wheel and to speak through me. About five minutes later, Bubba came down the stairs, and I felt a calm strength come over me. I got down on his level and firmly but gently said, “That behavior is not allowed in this house. I am your mother, and you will treat me and your father with respect.” His eyes got big, and I continued, “When we go back to Grandma’s, you will apologize for your ungratefulness, and you will thank her with a kind heart.”

Later, Bubba apologized to his dad, this time sincerely, and gave him a hug. My heart swelled with pride—not because of anything I had done but because I had followed God’s guidance. I had humbled myself and recognized that I am weak, and I need Jesus to help me raise my children.

A Lesson in Trust and Discipline

In that moment, I realized that I had been trying to parent out of my own strength and emotions, and it wasn’t working. I needed to lean on God, ask for His guidance, and trust Him to help me raise my children in the way they should go. Sometimes, discipline is necessary, but what is even more important is doing it with a heart that seeks God’s wisdom.

God calls us to discipline our children out of love, not frustration. The Bible gives us clear guidance on this:

• Proverbs 23:13-14: Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.
• Proverbs 19:18: Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
• Proverbs 22:15: Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
• Proverbs 29:15: The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

While discipline is vital, it must be done in love and through the strength of the Lord, not out of anger.

Closing Thought

In moments when we feel overwhelmed and out of control, it’s okay to admit that we can’t do it all on our own. Parenting is hard, and none of us are perfect, but when we humble ourselves before God, He steps in and gives us the strength and wisdom we need. I know there are those who might disagree with physical discipline, but I believe that when done in the right spirit and within the boundaries set by God, it can be a form of loving correction.

In the end, I’m thankful for the reminder that I don’t have to be perfect. I just need to keep trusting God, seeking His wisdom, and raising my children in His ways.